FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Do Unto Others~

Posted: May 1, 2013 in dark, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

FLASHFRIDAY prompt Skull Hotel kent-bonham

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/3-may-2013/

For those who are new, Rochelle shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come, rest your bones.

Here’s my contribution:

Do Unto Others

The paper was stowed within a corked, blue bottle, opaquing in the surf, well on its way to becoming sea-glass. Hand scribed letters, themselves masterpieces, were woven into a simple phrase.

Do unto others.

Jolie, admiring her find as she approached the resort entrance, read aloud and became suddenly woozy, the sun pierced, as if she’d been wandering a desert.

The hotel facade appeared to bubble, sections sloughed revealing human skulls with hollow eye sockets. The paper slid from her grasp and settled upon the walkway.

Impregnated within the script, given life by utterance, the swallowing darkness bade Jolie welcome.

jKb

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Comments
  1. Damn, that’s fantastic 🙂

  2. Lyn says:

    Oooh, spookey stuff. Another good one from the Chronicler 🙂

  3. Nicely creepy, JKB. “Hand-scribed” would likely be one word, giving you one more to play with if you’d like.

    janet

  4. Steve B says:

    Vivid visualls. I liked the “opaquing in the surf”, also how you flowed from the simple upbeat tone do a sudden decent into grim inevitability.

  5. Fantastic imagination… I really admire your writing.. 🙂

  6. zookyworld says:

    Your precision weaves deep stories. And your description of the building’s transformation works very well with the Gaudi. A dark, inventive take on this week’s prompt.

  7. Linda Vernon says:

    This is very imaginative. And I loved that you used opaque as a verb. In fact, I loved everything about it!

  8. Penny L Howe says:

    Oooooh. I don’t spook easy, but oooooh! Extremely well done! This is just really good on several levels!

  9. That’s great. You matched the feel of the picture perfectly.

  10. Dear JK,
    Beautiful imagery descending to the depths of creepy. Might I add you did it well, Sir.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  11. troy P. says:

    Word Weaver is what you are, my friend.

  12. elappleby says:

    This is pretty bloody fantastic. On another level, in fact. I loved ‘given life by utterance’ and ‘opaquing’.

  13. unspywriter says:

    That was definitely shiver-inducing! Loved the description of how the building morphed.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/post-modern-ossuary/

  14. Carrie says:

    Creepy but a little confusing…why would saying those words suck her into the “bottle”? Has she become part of the letters she found, like a genie in a bottle?

    • JKBradley says:

      Hello Carrie. It was the power within the hand written words, released by being read aloud, which is doing something to her. At least, that’s the way I read it.

      Thank you for visiting!

  15. ahh this is a really bad building…

  16. dmkarns@hotmail.com says:

    You can check out but you can never leave….

  17. You have a very solid grasp on the mood of your writing. Your descriptions are not only evocative and creative, but very well timed. Count me impressed… and a little creeped out.

  18. Dark and powerful. I like it.

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