FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~ Twilight Race~

Posted: February 6, 2013 in dark, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

FLASHFICTIONFRIDAY UNITED AIRWAYS RICH VOZA

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/02/06/8-february-2013/

For those who are new, Rochelle shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come, let’s fly. Just don’t look down.

Langoliers anyone?

Here’s my contribution:

Twilight Race

It continued in relentless pursuit, like some inexhaustible force, just coming, so hungry, getting bigger, brighter, chewing up the following horizon.

Our ship was refueled, my arms full of whatever provisions I could scavenge as we reembarked.

Prepare for departure.” The box crackled. “We’ve put on a little distance. With any luck we’ll make Hawaii.”

The captain ignited the engines, pointed the nose westward, and accelerated down the uneven macadam, running yet another leg of this twisted twilight race.

Or, we get torched when it catches us,” I muttered. “Fuckit, I always wanted to see Hawaii.”

jKb



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Comments
  1. I love your first line, with “chewing up the following horizon” being my favorite part.

  2. I hadn’t heard of the Langoliers, so your story (just fine on its own) made even more sense once I read a bit about the story. I remember reading “Salem’s Lot” one year working at a camp in Maine, finishing at night and not wanting to walk back to the cabin in the dark, even though I don’t believe in vampires. Haven’t read much Stephen King since then but he is scary.

    janet

    • JKBradley says:

      I’m in the process of rereading his work. I also tend toward Ray Bradbury, Dean Koontz and the like. But I’ve been enjoying the idea of the short story recently. Something that can be enjoyed over a single sitting or maybe over two nights at a moderate pace. King has a few compilations of shorts which are just great.

      • rich says:

        i enjoy his short stories well more than his novels. many of his novels have endings that are too contrived for me. “full dark, no stars” was a good collection.

  3. The Langoliers! I remember that movie. The horrible special effect monsters made it comical (probably some of the silliest looking monsters in cinema history) but the idea itself was a darn good one. Awesome fan fic 🙂

  4. kz says:

    i read your first line again, coz it’s so great ^^

  5. I believe Heaven is better than Hawaii…..great take!

    Shenine

  6. Sandra says:

    The formless pursuer comes across really well. Less is more, description wise. Well done.

  7. rich says:

    i was wondering how this line was going to fit in: ““We’ve put on a little distance.” and then pieces fell together. for something of this length, we don’t need to know WHY there is a chase. we only need to know THAT there is a chase. well done.

  8. rgayer55 says:

    I thought of Langoliers when I first saw the photo, but I’m more of an Airplane kind of guy with Foster Brooks as the pilot.

  9. Interesting story. Not sure what they’re running from though. Definite suspense here.

  10. Tom Poet says:

    I think Thinner did it for me….. and I loved The Stand as a kid. This was well done and anyone who has a priest on his blog and still says fuck it is OK in my book.
    Tom

  11. I saw the Langoliers. Your story trumped it. Short to the point. I agree. I want to go Hawaii. 😉

    • JKBradley says:

      The short story of Langoliers was so much better than the Hollywood version. I don’t know if I’ll get to Hawaii, something is pulling me to Tuscany. The food? Wine? Melody of language? A crumbling villa on a 800 year old forgotten farm. I have my feelers out. Now, if Doug were to tempt, perhaps a Hawaii vacation could be arranged…

  12. Dear JK,

    Your story? That’s how I got to Hawaii. Loved it through and through. They’re making the right move. It’ll be okay there.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • JKBradley says:

      Indeed, I tore that page from your biography.

      I much enjoyed your story, Doug, but didn’t realize how clever it was until I continued reading the other contributions. Very well done.

  13. unspywriter says:

    Nice sense of urgency; rather reminds me of the movie 2012–but better. Good use of the prompt, and I liked the airplane as the savior not the destroyer.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/ad-astra/

  14. Joe Owens says:

    Sometimes hinting at an unseen evil makes it that much more creepy. This is a great story and begs for more words!

  15. Unfortunately I never read or seen the Langliers but it worked anyway.. Thought it might be a regular Ryan air flight… 🙂

  16. I like many of your vivid word choices: “chewing up the following horizon,” “scavenge,” and “crackled.” They give the story vitality.

  17. So much tension and much more story to be told. Can they outrun the monster? I want to read more.

  18. Excellent piece, built very cleverly.

  19. Iris says:

    Oh, and by the way: you are featured in my Friday Fictioneers post. Want to check it out?

  20. You gotta love a race, especially when you’re trying to save yourself. I like how desperate the story feels. What are they running from? You have to expand, great job.

  21. wmqcolby says:

    Not familiar with the Langoliers, but I liked the story. Thanks for this, JK.

  22. This is an unwinnable race, isn’t it? I read it as a story about the sun exploding, and the most the characters can hope for is to squeeze out a few more hours of life running from dawn, hiding in the twilight. That last line about seeing Hawaii is so sad and resigned.

  23. writeondude says:

    Very good. I’ve seen the Langoliers mini-series, but not read the book. My favourite Stephen King book is the non-fiction “On Writing” which I would highly recommend to all budding and experienced writers. (My fav fiction book is probably The Stand).

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