FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Target Practice~

Posted: August 20, 2014 in dark, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

FFF Prompt  parked

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction postings at:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/08/20/22-august-2014/

For those who are new, Rochelle shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come, tell us your hopes and dreams.

Here’s my contribution:

Target Practice

Dale’s head rumbled like the five pin on the last frame when everything was on the line. And everything was on the line. Bank took the house and Cherri ran off with the kids and the dog while he was swapping oil filters at the shop. He knew she’d be gone, too. She’d become quiet and cold and hell if she hadn’t voted for this guy with his hope and change. Dale squinted off the shards of light coming through the windshield of his new living arrangement and eyed a bumper sticker. Just politics he thought and squeezed the trigger.

jKb

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Comments
  1. I don’t get it. sorry.
    plus are there typos, tense problems in this line:She’d become quiet and cold and hell if she hadn’t vote for this guy with his hope and change.

    quiet and cold as hell?
    because she voted for this guy?

    Is this an Obama hater or just some crazy protagonist who blames others for the messed up life he has? Was this supposed to be some political statement by the author?

    Randy

    • JKBradley says:

      Randy, I fixed the verb, good pick up. Your next question of what is cold as hell I think you misread, it’s ‘and’ which created a run-on sentence for the effect of showing Dale’s increasing instability. Yup, he’s crazy. The last part of your remark about this being some veiled attempt by the author makes me wonder if you’ve read my other writings of fiction?

  2. Dear JK,

    You’ve outdone yourself in the realm of grim and done it well.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  3. Bradley, A brief and realistic look at life through the darkness of depression. Well written. —Susan

  4. Danielle says:

    damn those country songs encouraging women to take the dog as well!!!

  5. When you go down.. you go down quick.. but he seem to have passed the practice stage..

  6. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear JK, He is certainly in a dark place. I wonder who he is going to shoot. Run Cherri, Run! Well written dark story of a depressed and deranged man. Nan 🙂

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