FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Hold Your Breath~

Posted: January 15, 2014 in dark, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rising Water copyright-erin-leary

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/01/15/17-january-2014/

For those who are new, Rochelle shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come, the water is nice.

Here’s my contribution:

Hold Your Breath

The throbbing behind his eyes seemed to grow as the morning sun angled higher, partially concealed behind the haze of an early morning shower. The earth was soggy behind his matted hair and cold beneath his bound body. He struggled against the cord – something electrical, a wire of some sort he recollected through a haze of his own.

Pieces came together: a land deal and contaminated water. His vision focused on the muddy edge of the hole he was in. And then the water, it spilled over the edge.

It rose slowly.

It wet his body.

It filled his ears.

jKb

 

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Comments
  1. hpliebekraft says:

    There is a primal horror in the idea of being trapped like this. Well done!

  2. atrm61 says:

    Yikes!How horrific to be killed by these ruthless land mafia.Poor guy!

  3. Oh the terror of having to wait to die a gruesome death. Tension building story.

  4. Oh! The realization must be terrifying. Great elements in your writing.
    -HA

  5. Sandra says:

    It’s all downhill from here, I fear.

  6. Ohhh, that sounds pretty gruesome. Looks like he is coming to a bad end. I hope it was his land deal that was bad…but with these Friday Flash fiction writings, we make short shrift of everyone.

  7. Lyn says:

    You can’t leave it there!! C’mon, we need a rescue and some revenge.

  8. What a way to go! Good scary read! Thanks, Nan

  9. Adam Ickes says:

    Don’t think he’s getting out of that one. All is right with the world… if you don’t count the water creeping up on him that is.

  10. It depends on whether he was a willing participant in this or not (up to the point of being bound and gagged) – I took it that he knew very well what he was getting into – so he deserves the sticky end, in a way….

  11. Everything about this makes me uncomfortable. Which, makes you a fine writer.

  12. Sometimes you wish you had remained unconscious.. This is stuff that make the nightmares seems pleasant.

  13. Dear JK,

    This seems almost a continuation of last week’s story and the tide’s come in. Am I warm? Well done as always at any rate.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  14. Dani Karns says:

    You’re in a drowning phase.

    I’m hoping someone’s missing him real soon…… any search n rescue friends? Not sounding like a lucky guy. Going down for standing up to the wrong people On Jan 15, 2014 1:22 PM, “The Bradley Chronicles” wrote:

    > JKBradley posted: ” Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her > work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other > Flash Fiction Friday postings at: > http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/01/15/17-january-2014/ For > those who are ne”

  15. unspywriter says:

    I think he has but a brief time for reflecting on his actions–as it should be. Great job–again. 😉

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/grasping-for-straws/

  16. erinleary says:

    Ooh…this is a good one. Very scary!

  17. rgayer55 says:

    I’m late getting here, but didn’t want to miss this one. You are the master of suspense, my friend.

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