FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Absolution~

Posted: October 30, 2013 in dark, fiction, Outdoors, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

FFF prompt KOI

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com

For those who are new, Rochelle shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come, find peace.

Here’s my contribution:

Absolution

The bad thoughts came and Derick fled in search of a soothing place to rest, to bring comfort, he needed to settle his mind. He shoved through the glass doors of the library glancing about, hoping nobody would notice his disheveled state, and nearly collapsed beside the courtyard fountain outside, a favorite nook for young readers which was fortunately vacant. He rubbed his brow as the gentle burbling eased the bolts behind his eyes. The Koi, accustomed to being fed, began to congregate before him, their mouths stupidly gaping.

That’s when Derick first heard them.

They were praying, to him.

jKb

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Comments
  1. Adam Ickes says:

    Lord of the Fish! The birth of everybody’s least favorite superhero (Aquaman) perhaps?

  2. DCTdesigns says:

    Crazy? Perhaps he is simply the first fish whisperer.

  3. Jan Brown says:

    Hearing fish voices? This guy is in desperate need of therapy. Maybe he should go back in the library and check out a couple of self-help books. Or maybe not….

  4. The way their mouths pucker and pout, I can imagine hearing voices… prayers are a great direction to take. Well done!

  5. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear JK,

    Why do I think this is going to end badly? The fish will see their god led away in a white jacket and your protagonist, well, the cheese is sliding off of his cracker.

    Great story that shows the fine line between the mundane and madness. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  6. Dear JK,

    My mouth is stupidly gaping as I finish your well-written tale of madness in progress. I’ve read there’s a thin line between genius and insanity. Good job.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  7. Sandra says:

    I hope the men in white coats don’t hang about too long. Nice take on the prompt.

  8. Wow… the madness… Isn’t one of the trademarks of a serial killer a god complex? This was brilliant — with the bad thoughts right at the beginning, and the sense that he’s done something horrible and is running and/or hiding…. just brilliant.

  9. now that’s a fine fish tale. At least he has something going for him!

  10. Oh, no! Don’t stop now… What happened next? You’ve hooked me!

  11. rgayer55 says:

    Was it worship and praise, or were they like us humans, wanting Derick to be an errand boy and satisfy their wandering desires?

  12. mike olley says:

    First sign of madness – hearing fish prayers, the second is answering them…

  13. unspywriter says:

    This just begs for more! Lots of great tension and an ending that’s all twisty. Nicely done.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/lure-of-the-nishikigoi/

  14. That ending really surprised me. Fantastic.

  15. wmqcolby says:

    Now THAT’S something I never thought about. But, I think they just look at him and see “meal ticket” written all over his face.

  16. Dani Karns says:

    Directly or for anyone with food? I like the idea of a fish deity On Oct 30, 2013 12:00 PM, “The Bradley Chronicles” wrote:

    > JKBradley posted: ” Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her > work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other > Flash Fiction Friday postings at: > http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com For those who are new, Rochelle > shares a photo “

  17. CherryPickens says:

    With the beginnings of madness come the whispers. At first unintelligible, gradually they take shape. And now I wonder, what does the fish say? Thanks for the delightful read.

  18. A psychological thriller – nice twist. Well done.

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