FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Gathering~

Posted: September 4, 2013 in dark, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

FLASHFICTIONPROMPT

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/6-september-2013/

For those who are new, Rochelle shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come, eat your fill and more, so much more.

Here’s my contribution:

Gathering

Edward enjoyed pretty things, sparklies, toys and trinkets.

He would observe the children going to and fro while mopping up or emptying waste bins. They mindlessly clutched items which Edward believed to be unappreciated. They didn’t deserve the pretties.

So he gathered them.

And there was such a thrill in retrieving the prizes, late at night, slithering through an unlocked window.

Tonight, he stepped soundlessly, saliva flooding his mouth, full arousal in his trousers. The bedded child murmured, lips parted, then, her twinkling eyes fluttered open.

His hard hand clamped immediately over her cherub face.

“No. Shhhhh. You mustn’t scream.”

jKb

 

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Comments
  1. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear JK,

    This was dark and evil and well written. Perfect title and a creepy evocation of the prompt.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. Dear JK,

    You’ve upped the bar on creepy. Even for yourself. Another masterpiece in dark.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  3. Tom Poet says:

    Sick but well written.

    • JKBradley says:

      Thanks Tom. It’s the way my brain works.

      By the way, I read your contributions weekly but for some reason I am unable to post comments. Perhaps it’s my phone?

  4. helenmidgley says:

    oh, that was disturbing, but awesome as well 🙂

  5. misskzebra says:

    Very disturbing, but carried off well.

  6. draliman says:

    Dark, disturbing and well written! I had an image of Gollum in my mind as I read that.

  7. Jan Brown says:

    Ewwww…how do you spell heebie-jeebies?

  8. camgal says:

    On a scale of 1-10 that was a 20 on the creep-o-meter. Great post 🙂

  9. Dani Karns says:

    My Precious

  10. Hi J.K.,
    You’ve created a dark, dark, scary character here and I liked the way you developed the story, with you character becoming more and more evil with each line. Ron

  11. This was very dark, darling. JUST this side of “Okay I’ve got to stop reading now…”
    Well written, but disturbing.

  12. jwdwrites says:

    You have a truly dark mind JK, keep up the evil work. 🙂

  13. My goodness, that was a surprise. I thought we had an innocent love of trinkets, not the twinkies!

  14. neenslewy says:

    Disturbing indeed and dark. The way that character unfolded and happened just as the reader catches up with the inevitable – like a collision of page and mind which forces the impact of the monster even more.
    Sick lump in throat, dark, dark, demonically dark and scary because he exists.

  15. Joe Owens says:

    Creepy little tale of a misguided soul who takes too many liberties to satisfy his fetish.

    • JKBradley says:

      It’s a Janitor’s tale, of sorts. These guys slink thru the lives of our kids, with a ring of keys giving all kinds of access. I’m certain they’re on the up-and-up. Maybe.

      Thanks for reading!

  16. unspywriter says:

    I wondered what you were going to do with something seemingly so innocent, and you didn’t disappoint. Very dark, but tight and well-written. Loved it.

    Here’s mine (treacly): http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/memory-lane/

  17. rgayer55 says:

    This story give me the willies. It’s amazing how you can scare the crap out of someone in 100 words and still leave them wanting more.

    • JKBradley says:

      I love this forum. It affords me the motivation and inspiration to expose some of these shackled demons. It puts light on them. But something strange has happened. Instead of shriveling up like a salted slug they become bold and interesting. Maybe I should flesh these guys out.

      Thanks!

  18. Dee says:

    JK
    This was just frightening.
    All the way through I was wondering how you were going to end this very dark, well written tale.
    As usual you didn’t disappoint. Brilliant
    Dee

  19. Chilling! You told it well. I’m creeped out and feel terrible for the children.

  20. Sarah Ann says:

    I think I’m going to have to stop reading your stories. They are just too unsettling!

  21. troy P. says:

    “Willies” – achieved and acknowledged…

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