FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~ Ride The Heat~

Posted: July 17, 2013 in fiction, Outdoors
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

FFprompt BIKE anelephantcant

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/07/17/19-july-2013/

For those who are new, Rochelle shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come out of the heat and slip inside for a thrill.

Here’s my contribution:

Ride The Heat

Asphalt sucked against tread nubs as Victor pedaled down Main. At half past eight the heat was stifling; the sharp clacking of his queen of hearts against spokes smacked a duller tone. It was already record breaking heat.

Shimmering pools of what looked like water would evaporate as he approached. Victor rode faster hoping to experience splashing through the mysterious liquid.

The next pool remained and Victor thought Finally!

As he entered the mirage he felt a weird stretching sensation then heard something that sounded like a rubber band letting go.

Crack!

The world around him was suddenly very foreign.

jKb

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Comments
  1. Sandra says:

    Great way to start something longer. And very graphic too. Well done .

  2. claireful says:

    Ooh, you’ve set up a fantastic beginning. I really want to know what happens next. But, one question – what’s his ‘queen of hearts’?

  3. Awesome! I was all nostalgic at first, with the playing card in the spokes and the hot summer day, then WHAM! You took us to another dimension. Well done.

  4. Cool story, JK. I remember kids having a card, or more than one, where the spokes would hit it and make that noise. Got a Bradbury vibe from this one.

    janet

  5. Penny L Howe says:

    Exquisite word usage here JK. So very well written, your story a pleasure to read.

  6. petrujviljoen says:

    Interpretation of the ending is open. Good for inspiration. I love wondering what happened. And sometimes get scared wondering what happened. Well done.

  7. zookyworld says:

    A magical transition — and that last line is like a magical flash in the reader’s mind, as it sparks the imagination to come up with how the foreign world looks.

  8. Joe Owens says:

    Lot so great imagery in the end.

  9. Kent says:

    I never had a playing card on my bike, but I do know I have heard a “Crack” a few times while riding. Nice story, JK.

  10. Jan Brown says:

    Agree with the previous commenter–feels very Bradbury-esque. Love the concept of being whisked away to something new by a mysterious fluid. Hopefully it is a sweet escape!

  11. Dear JK,

    I really want to know more of this story. Loved the “Queen of Hearts” in the spokes. As a matter of fact, I did clip playing cards to my spokes. 😉 Very Bradburyesque. Could take place in a hilly little Illinois town, right? I can always count on you for something unique and well-written.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  12. Gabriella says:

    I enjoyed the fact that the end was open to a variety oh interpretations! I liked the tone too.

  13. denmother says:

    Very neat! Riding into those mirages is always fascinating. Have yet to be taken to another world myself, but I love that this character broke through.

  14. troy P. says:

    The playing card sold it for me, and I would love to here more about this new foreign world he just crossed over to…

  15. unspywriter says:

    I can always count on you to make me suck in a breath. 😉 Excellent build-up to a shocking finish. Now, I need to know more about this different world…

    Here’s mine, unfortunately about an all-too-real horror: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/band-of-brothers/

  16. rgayer55 says:

    Ooooh, I see him thrust into another dimension–like a marble speeding from a slingshot made from an old bicycle inner tube. Tell me more.

  17. I did the card thing when I were a lad. Thought nobody else remembered this technology.
    Eerie ending – not quite interpreted it yet.

  18. Ah time trivelling. Love the mirage settings

  19. […] FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~ Ride The Heat~ (thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com) […]

  20. […] FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~ Ride The Heat~ (thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com) […]

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