FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Well Wishes~

Posted: March 14, 2013 in dark, fiction, Heart Warming, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

FlashFictionFriday Lillies-City Prompt

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/03/13/15-march-2013/

For those who are new, Rochelle shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come, I have a message for you.

Here’s my contribution:

Well Wishes

“I was never good at confrontation, my love.” His voice was firm and unwavering. “My heart races, my palms sweat. Thoughts leave my head… So I came here to your new lover’s home. It is so comfortable. I brought your favorite, stole them from your dead mother’s front walk, the very same you watched bloom each spring, yes? Do you like them? I never cared much for flowers. They wilt. They die. Like love some would say.  Like your new love, destined to wither to dust. Fair well, love. Ah, yes. One other gift awaits you in the en suite.”

jKb

 



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Comments
  1. Iris says:

    Oh oh. That sounds rather ominous. Creepy guy, this one.

  2. Marisa says:

    Nice ending, I wanted to know more of that story!

  3. Sandra says:

    That was menacing right from the word go. Really spooky. Well done.

  4. You have a chilling voice here. Sounds like heart ache to me and revenge not far away.

  5. I wonder if the smell of the lilies will hide the smell of decay from the en suite.. or did I extrapolate too far?

  6. deanabo says:

    Haunting… I love it.

  7. julespaige says:

    LIke rue added to stew…the plot thickens…

  8. Where would we be if villains didn’t think out loud? We’d certainly not have gotten into the creepy guy’s head, that’s for sure. Stole them from her dead mother’s walk? Double yuk! Methinks only one person will eventually be left standing out of the three.

    janet

  9. Oh, boy, you are very gruesome today. Or at least what you leave to our imaginations is pretty dire. Very Clever take on the prompt.

  10. kz says:

    damn the man is sick.. oh well she’s in for a surprise ^^ delightfully wicked.

  11. rgayer55 says:

    Sounds like he’d been planning this one for a while. He took extra effort to get the details right, especially her dead mother’s flowers. The fact that you mentioned her mother was DEAD only heightened the suspense. One suggestion; remove “was” from the 2nd sentence. Not my genre, but I always appreciate great writing. Well done, JK.

    • JKBradley says:

      Thank you for your comments, I appreciate it very much. That ‘was’ was not there at first. I used a different computer this week and this machine uses Word. And wouldn’t you know, that software kept underlining that sentence because there wasn’t a verb. So I put that ‘was’ in there to ease the pain, even tho my muse hasn’t put it in there in the first place. I think I will strike it, and smash this other computer with a sledge.

  12. nightlake says:

    He’ll be behind bars very soon…but very good writing here. Cheers

    • JKBradley says:

      I wonder if he will, because I think he is still very near, waiting to forfill his madness, then sweep up and move forward. But that’s just me. Thank you for stopping by and reading.

  13. Menacing, chilling…well written.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  14. unspywriter says:

    Okay, that got me looking over my shoulder. Nice voice in this; the madness builds. Well done.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/september-morning-forever/

  15. chilling take on the prompt.

  16. jwdwrites says:

    Now that’s how you do a baddy! Reminded me of Hannibal Lecter! I dread to think what the other surprise is. I hope he doesn’t make her eat it!

  17. elappleby says:

    Chilling and creepy and brilliantly done. One of my favourites this week.

  18. Joe Owens says:

    I think I hear the words “If I cannot have you no one can!”

  19. I don’t like this guy!

  20. rheath40 says:

    OMG I want to know more. I can only imagine what was waiting for her…

  21. is he the new love? Does he already think his love will die? Quite interesting!

  22. tedstrutz says:

    Chilling… bet I can guess who is lying in the next room.

    • JKBradley says:

      I wonder if it will be the new lover, her mother (maybe she only just learned her mother is dead), or perhaps a pet? Or maybe he hung himself in the shower?? I dont know the answer.

      Thanks, Ted.

  23. Sarah Ann says:

    Very creepy. I don’t think she should go into the ensuite. On first reading I thought she’d find her lover. On the second I’m not so sure. Really enjoyed the voice in this, although I don’t want to cross him.

  24. I like how you compared the wilting of flowers to the wilting love. Oh, will nothing last forever?!

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