FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Stories In The Attic~

Posted: January 16, 2013 in dark, fiction, Heart Warming, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

FlashFictionPrompt Phone Photo in the attic

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2013/01/16/18-january-2013/

For those who are new, Rochelle shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come, let’s play up in my attic.

Here’s my contribution:

Stories In The Attic

On Saturdays Bubbe would have tea with her friends in the front formal room, a handful of gossiping ladies in nice dresses and conservative cloches eating rugelach. Eventually, they’d circle around to Zayde. He had adored Bubbe and for all her pain she certainly had enjoyed a lifetime of good fortune.

My brother and I would escape to another world, up to the attic with its odd slanted ceiling boards and stacks of dusty boxes. We never knew the joy of knee bouncing or tickle wars, but one Saturday, while we played in Bubbe’s attic this old phone rang.

jKb



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Comments
  1. Joyce says:

    I really like your story here, JK. A ghost making a kind of ‘house call.’ 🙂 That would freak out the kids. Nice little ghost story come to life.

  2. tedstrutz says:

    Oh Yeah! And I’ll bet it’s not connected either.

  3. kz says:

    spooky. mysterious.. love it ^^

  4. Dear J.K.
    Glad to see you this week. I love the picture you painted of Bubbe and her friends. Nice segue to the attic and Zayde’s call.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  5. Oh-oh, not sure they should answer the phone! Now I want to know what happens next. Well done, sucked me in quick.

  6. So do they answer the phone? I’m not sure I would. 🙂

  7. muZer says:

    Oh Wow.. That’s eerie.. I’d think they’ll answer the phone but wouldn’t hear anything or maybe just a laugh.. Loved the story.

  8. Maybe a bit of the magic the old man and woman had made for each other rubbed off on the attic. Curious to know what’s next. Thanks!

  9. Abraham says:

    Very well done.
    You introduced us to the people downstairs, led us up to the attic and left us just at the edge of the adventure!

  10. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear JKB,

    You are a master of the mysterious in the middle of the ordinary, the ominous at the last glance, the unanswered question that keeps readers wondering…What happens next? Well done and welcome back. Your writing is such that any absences will be noted and logged.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  11. Ha, Doug has given such a spot on for your works and I am glad to read this…Very creative turn of events. 🙂

  12. Sandra says:

    Very spooky, in a nice chatty sort of way.

  13. Doug’s comment about what you do best is spot on. And you did it well again this week.

    janet

  14. elappleby says:

    Very clever, you drew us in with a gentle tale and then shocked us with the ringing phone right at the very end. Really really enjoyed this one!

  15. wmqcolby says:

    Wow! Ends like a teaser for the Twilight Zone! I want MORE, now!
    Nice work!

  16. Debra Kristi says:

    Bazinga! Freaky phone. I don’t think they should answer. Just sayin’. Great piece. You pulled me in all unsuspecting then BAM! Very nice.

  17. Anne Orchard says:

    Great portrayal of the contrast between the formal lounge and the dusty adventurous attic. I had similar experiences at my grandparents every Sunday afternoon, but no creepy phones there.

  18. unspywriter says:

    Oh, wow, great chill from the last line. Everything was so normal, then, well, wow. Nice juxtaposition of the commonplace and the surreal.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/my-fair-clue/

  19. claudia says:

    Love the vivid details including food and then the ringing phone….you managed to leave a whole story hanging in the air!

  20. I love being transported and immersed into a new and different world. great job.

  21. Hi JK,
    Really liked the way you teased the imagination by leaving the phone, and the rest of the story, unanswered. Ron

  22. JackieP says:

    I do love mysteries. Really good twist of the pic.

  23. Good twist here. A call from the past.

  24. YJ says:

    I want to read more. Great work – the reader is left on the edge waiting for the next word.

  25. OooOOOOooo…I wonder if they answered it?

  26. rich says:

    the phone rang. and i’m gathering that it wasn’t plugged into anything other than your imagination. well done.

  27. Sunshine says:

    hmm, sounds like an adventure about to unfold…love the drama. ❤

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