FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Promises Kept~

Posted: November 9, 2012 in dark, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Quick words. I apologize for my inattention. I will return.

Please visit the #FridayFictioneer page here:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/11/07/9-november-2012/

Here’s my contribution, written in the time it takes a drip of coffee to spoil a fresh white table cloth:

Promises Kept

An aged wooden chair, entombed in blankets, he awaited. Without reserve to roll forward nor back, without momentum whatever, having forsaken and been. This life’s winter, upon grave reflection he only fathomed despair, anger, regret.

Where was family, love, life worth sharing, and with whom?

How he’d squandered his last grains awaiting a kiss that would not come. Promises so stale, bitterly missing the original intoxication, now dust.

Lacking all, not even a tear had visited.

Then one came. A black veil lifted, revealed Her. Lovely. Beautiful. Youthful. She leaned in, her lips moist. She harvested his last breath.

jKb

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Comments
  1. Last line…good stuff 🙂

  2. tedstrutz says:

    A lot going on here. Sad and scary. Loved the last line.

  3. Hi J.K.,
    Very nicely written tale of descent and death. Ron

  4. I agree, that last sentence is wonderful – “harvested” is perfect. Poor old man, his bitterness has probably helped to drive people away, and then being alone made him even more bitter.

  5. rheath40 says:

    You stole my breath with that final line.

  6. brudberg says:

    Neads repeating. The last line truly lift the whole story.

  7. Brian Benoit says:

    A really well done, if sad, portrait of the end of a life. The voice was great, and I’ll agree with what’s been said: that last line was a nice’n.

  8. Stunning. At least death came to him as a beautiful woman and not as an evil presence.

  9. Dear J.K.

    ‘She harvested his last breath’ is a great final line. Caps off a solid piece of work with a cold finality.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  10. boomiebol says:

    the last line packs a punch

  11. A lot packed into a small space. A life lived, loss, loneliness, regrets. It left me thinking.

  12. Hope she’s not just a mirage. Such dispair.

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