FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Competitive Edge~

Posted: October 24, 2012 in fiction, Heart Warming, writing
Tags: , , , , ,

It’s Flash Fiction Friday time and we’re at our new home. A big thanks goes out to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for taking over the helm.

Please take a few moments to acquaint yourself with Rochelle by visiting her About page listed here: 

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/about/

The story sharing page for this week can be found here:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/friday-fictioneers-2/

And here’s my contribution:

 

Competitive Edge

Rock. Paper. Scissor. Shoot.” Two hands stuck forward, a fist, a flat hand.

Looks like it’s my lucky day. I’ll start the car.”

The remaining two, one eleven, the other fifteen, looked nervously around. The lunch ticket on the table still untouched.

What now?”

Quarter toss,” answered the other as he launched the coin end over end with the back of his thumb. The first called out ‘tails’ and snagged his fate. In the distraction the other made his escape.

Only one remained.

Hesitation.

A breath.

The race was on.

And, boy was he quick.

jKb

 

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Comments
  1. I love the opening for this piece, JK. Very strong visuals. I could see and hear these boys. Nice.

  2. boomiebol says:

    Smiled after reading this…very nice

  3. Deftly done as usual. Brought a smile to my face as well.

  4. Sandra says:

    As Rochelle says, very strong visuals. I’d baulk at describing the coin-flip, but you did it beautifully. Great piece, made me smile.

  5. Dear JK,

    Competitive Edge was perfectly titled and ably illustrated. Brought back memories of racing my brother up the stairs out of the recreation room in our basement. Last one to the top had to go back and turn off the TV. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  6. So adorable. Loving the different variations this prompt has created.

  7. Tom Poet says:

    Jk,

    You can hear these boys talking for sure! Very well done. Made me smile….

    Tom

  8. Linda says:

    I can just see it, boys being boys and chasing their tails in order to be better than the other – a great start and fab ending too.

  9. brudberg says:

    Very nice one 🙂 variation on the prompt for sure.

  10. Jan Brown says:

    Great story! I like these boys very much! Felt bad for the loser of the coin toss, but he found a way out 🙂

  11. This took me right back to the playground as we “wrassl’d” over a swing, slide or ball. Nicely done.

  12. Hi J.K.,
    Dine and dash, what a fun story. ron

  13. Loved this. Morally reprehensible of course, but very well written and funny.

  14. Anne Orchard says:

    Great little scene. I can just picture it. Hope the car’s not stolen too 🙂

  15. unspywriter says:

    Wonderful little vignette. It brought memories of my PITA little brother, but fond ones.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/shrine/

  16. Parul says:

    Very well paced. I liked the tossing of the coins!

  17. billgncs says:

    this made me laugh! It is pretty close to real life.

  18. And people wonder why businesses don’t trust teens!

  19. Caught between laughter and the fury of being a former waitress. ooohh, those kids!

  20. Lora says:

    Fun story. Did the last one have to pay the bill?

  21. JackieP says:

    I’m new to this but I really enjoyed yours. Different take on the picture for sure.

  22. Brian Benoit says:

    I guess there are two ways of reading it, one sorry kid getting stuck with the bill, or all of them ditching one at a time – either way, I thought it was a good read! The pacing at the end was great

  23. summerstommy2 says:

    Fate. Can be a killer sometimes. Well done sir.

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