FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~I Still Love You~

Posted: September 20, 2012 in dark, fiction, Heart Warming, Outdoors, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Thank you again to MadisonWoods for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at

http://madison-woods.com/index-of-stories/092112-2/

For those who are new, MadisonWoods shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers will compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Here is my contribution:

I Still Love You

It wasn’t a mistake. I loved her.”

This is your apology? You think these words you’re shitting will make me stay?”

I love you, too. I’m not asking for forgiveness. I want you to understand me. Then, maybe, you can accept me.”

Fuck you. And, fuck that whore.”

Yes. That is your position. Love, try to understand mine.”

I don’t give a flying fuck about your position.”

I’ll go then.”

Good riddance. Shit. Get down from there.”

Sorry.”

Come down. Stop!”

So sorry.”

DON’T!”

I still love you.

Postscript

Stripped out was the roof top gathering of friends, of peers and those who you couldn’t care less about, who fed upon another’s misfortune and pain, hangers-on who lacked original thought, who contributed nothing but parasitic gorging. A trio played Blue Moon. City lights and a smattering of celestial bodies graced the brisk evening. Champagne flowed and accompanied the feathered masks and formal dress. And their private discourse became ever so public.

The railing was low, cold. He climbed with specific intent, to grasp her in the last moment, jerk her into his reality, to carry her with him, homeward bound. Almost like the way he bore her across the threshold into wedded bliss some years before.

He missed, he flailed, he failed to counter the mystery of gravity.

Spectators gasped, some even marveled, and only one heard the scream. I still love you.

jKb



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Comments
  1. Sandra says:

    Very powerful; and the contrast between the style of the dialogue and the postscript was extremely effective. Good one.

  2. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear JK,

    This is a powerful story, and the postscript makes it all the more so. I admire the loon for wanting to make her understand his position, but he was doomed from the start. His desire to sweep her away one last time is a strange couterpoint to his apparent rationality. That he missed, flailed and failed (love this sentence) to counter the mystery of gravity is almost a self-fulfilling prophecy because she would have thrown him over the rail if he’d not done it for her. His final cry will no doubt stay with her and sets the bar pretty high for her future lovers.

    Good job.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  3. rheath40 says:

    So damn amazing. I wish I could write like this. I’ll keep trying, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.

  4. Acceptance and forgiveness, vital for human existence. Well done.

  5. This requires an essay to dissect the congruent and disparate parts. Great story, very thought provoking!

  6. There’s a lot there. Raw, stinging. Powerful.

  7. unspywriter says:

    I’ve had that conversation–I like your postscript better.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/homo-avis/

  8. Ouch. I like the two-angled approach to this. Our words have power and should be directed wisely….

    We’re here this week: http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/the-angel-thinks

  9. rich says:

    so it was going to be a murder/suicide, but he missed?

  10. stuff I said says:

    I always enjoy your Friday contributions. Really well done.

  11. The first paragraph in your Postscript jolted my memory. Many “Blue Moons” ago, I attended a similar roof top party, but without the tragedy. Nice work on the prompt.

  12. John Hardy Bell says:

    Two distinctive, yet equally powerful pieces here. Loved it!

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