FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Dreaming~

Posted: September 13, 2012 in dark, fiction, Heart Warming, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I’ve been distracted. Here’s what happened. I walked up the hill to the library, checked out Charles Bukowski’s Hollywood, then back down the hill to my couch. In no time, maybe 5 pages turned, I felt the urge to have a drink. There’s something about Buk and this story. For me, I can’t read him during the daylight hours without risk of exposing myself as a laughing lush. That was a few days ago and I’m sobering up. Time to head back up the hill. This time I think I’ll try a nice Vonnegut. Some things warrant being opened again and again, don’t you agree?

I invite all of you to taste Bukowski’s words for the first time, or drink them up once more.

Thank you to MadisonWoods for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://madison-woods.com/091412-2/

For those who are new, MadisonWoods shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers will compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come. Settle yourself and stay a while. Just make sure you bring a bottle with you. It’s the polite thing to do.

Today’s installment:

Dreaming

At the edge of darkness eyes glinted. Wetted pincers silently rubbed like a gold miser’s unsettled fingers. From this high vantage she observed the shallow rhythmic breathing, the softly cooing nature of the bedded cherub. Cheeks plump, lips slightly parted beneath upturned nose, curls of hair.

Her bulbous body, pointed appendages extended, approaching in fluid descent, entered a sliver of light. A gray pea was positioned beneath her abdomen. She stopped, hovered, as legs deftly worked. The sack was unlatched then meticulously tucked within the black hollow of the child’s ear, sealed with mucous.

The burbling host remained ever dreaming.

jKb



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Comments
  1. Le Clown says:

    JK,
    I had a very long love story with Mr. Bukowski… I haven’t read him in years, I should, once again… To feel his words where I am today. Thanks for the reminder.
    Le Clown

  2. eeeeeeew. Have I mentioned how I hate and am creeped out by spiders? Well written…but uck!

  3. Completely and perfectly creepy. I love your descriptions!! Although they’re all good, I especially liked this: “Wetted pincers silently rubbed like a gold miser’s unsettled fingers.”

    I knew this prompt would bring out a lot of creepiness!! 🙂 There’s just something about spiders & webs.

  4. boomiebol says:

    Such vivid descriptions…matched with a high dose of creepy. Very well done.

  5. claireful says:

    ooh, brilliantly disgusting. I loved it, especially ‘Wetted pincers silently rubbed like a gold miser’s unsettled fingers’.

    I don’t know Bukowski at all. I shall have a go.

    I’m here: https://worksbyclaire.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/short-story-sunday-afternoon/

  6. stuff I said says:

    Vividly creepy! I loved it. 🙂

  7. vbholmes says:

    Your first sentence sets the stage and the descriptive passages enhance the mood. Especially unsettling since you chose an innocent babe for the recipient –good story.

  8. flyoverhere says:

    creepy….but good for creepy.

  9. doncarroll says:

    dig this….buk is the man. one of my major influences over time!!

  10. Why did I click like? Eww, yuck and yuck! I can feel imaginary spiders crawling on my head. Nice job of setting the tone and pulling me into the moment. Now I have to stand up and swat at my clothes to make sure nothing is really crawling on me. 🙂 (NO, I’m not kidding, I will stand up and shake off.)

  11. Carrie says:

    oh, I don’t think I can express my disgust at that scene. I’m so creeped out by the idea of spiders hatching in my ear….ewwww

  12. Wonderfully wrong in so many ways. I will definitely have that creepy feeling down my spine for the next few days. Good work.

  13. elmowrites says:

    This is totally creepy, JK. I want to say so much more, but I can’t because I’m becuase dealing with the shivers!!

  14. TheOthers1 says:

    Grosss! Spiders in the baby’s ear? Traumatized for life! Loved this line, “Wetted pinches silently rub like a gold miser’s unsettled fingers.” That brings forth some great imagery.

    Didn’t link up, but I tried something: https://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/itsy-bitsy/

  15. Ayiyiyiyiiii! That’s worse than the dream I just had with the spiders with worms for legs that were chasing Colin Ferguson on his bike. Yup, and now my ear feels funny.

  16. Sandra says:

    Truly horrific. The contrasting descriptions of the sleeping babe and the hovering spider were spot-on.

  17. Mike says:

    Wow. What a great, creepy tale.
    I loved the imagery you created with lines like, “Wetted pincers silently rubbed like a gold miser’s unsettled fingers.”
    As for what will emerge from the ‘sack’ planted in the ‘the burbling host’ – I dread to think.
    Thanks for a great read.

  18. keliwright says:

    That’s seriously creepy. If I had an infant I would have a new addition to the nightly checklist. Aside from that, the way you describe the spider’s sentient approach to the child raises the arachnid to a whole new level of dangerous.

  19. rich says:

    eww. that made we squirm, which means it was well done.

  20. Oh great. Now I’m going to have to go check the ears of my grandbabies sleeping peacefully upstairs in my bed! Eeewww. Great writing, skillfully rendered creepy.

  21. Adam Ickes says:

    Creepy. Very creepy. Nicely done!

  22. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear JK,

    Your story’s cadence was a perfect match for the deliberate descent of the spider towards the sleeper. I could not help but imagine the hundreds of tiny hatchlings moving with equal deliberation through the hair and bedclothes of the babe. Loved the sun’s ray illuminating the tiny pea.

    Aloha,

    doug

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