FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~The Salesman~

Posted: July 26, 2012 in dark, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Thank you again to MadisonWoods for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://madison-woods.com/index-of-stories/072712-2/

For those who are new, MadisonWoods shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers will compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Come and play, dammit.

I may be off the radar for a week or two, friends. Something in this crazy world beckons. I wasn’t even going to play this week but the juices were flowing like free coffee at an A.A. Meeting.

Here is my contribution:

The Salesman

It’s finished.”

Will it work?”

Just like I explained. After the pot’s done bubbling just drain it into this here metal bucket, then start the fire.”

And the hose for the colder.”

It’s called the ‘chiller’.”

And what comes out will be pure shine?”

Virgin pure.”

Can’t thank you enough.”

Sure you can.”

How much do I owe ya?”

I don’t want your money. I’ve got money.”

Then what?”

Payment due in full. Upon delivery.”

Yes, I remember.”

Your daughter. Or, your wife. You choose.”

jKb



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Comments
  1. rheath40 says:

    Gave me the chills. Loved it.

  2. Ewwwww! Definitely the salesman from hell.

  3. mahjira says:

    Ugh! What a salesman to be able to wrangle a daughter or wife from the man! Loved the dialogue, it flowed very well! Here’s my link. http://mahjira.blogspot.com/2012/07/thirst.html

  4. lindarigsbee says:

    I liked the dialogue. It was so natural, and what a choice!

  5. Even a moonshine story from you is creepy! 🙂

  6. rochellewisoff says:

    Now that’s a stiff fee for shine. Kind of chilling…on the other hand, that could backfire.
    http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07/snarl.html

  7. Joyce says:

    Another chiller from the (potential) killer. Sounds kind of like some dark stories coming up from the deep south. My husband’s family was from Ky. His father use to make ‘moonshine’ in his formative years.

  8. I knew there was a reason I shy away from salesmen! Thanks for the chill.

  9. I would love to have seen the buyer’s reaction to that price! Something tells me he might have offered to double his order.

  10. billgncs says:

    go for the daughter….

  11. raina says:

    ohhhh….hmm. What a rip off!

  12. Nifti says:

    Tough prompt. But you’ve made it your’s as usual. I agree with Madison, something just tells me…!

  13. Sandra says:

    Expensive hey? Nice one – original.

  14. Never trust a moonshine salesman. You’ll get snake oil every time.

  15. Parul says:

    What a moron! I’d have punched him in the face!
    On a different note, good work! 🙂

  16. Guy’s really got to want him some shine to make that sort of deal. I liked the sense of menace from the spare language you used throughout. Very good story, including the way you utilized the prompt.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  17. Carrie says:

    uhm, not quite the ending I expected. I hope the wife and daughter can clear out!!

  18. vbholmes says:

    One has to wonder whether this man demands the same price for all his sales and, if so, what else he’s selling. Good dialogue.

  19. SAM says:

    Ohhhhhhhhhh. the concept, as if selling his soul to the devil. I LOVE it. I’m glad you took a moment to write this.

  20. This is awesome, really well written. I love dialogue-only pieces.

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