FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~Shearing Placid~

Posted: June 21, 2012 in dark, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thank you again to MadisonWoods for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings as  http://madison-woods.com/flash-fiction/damsel-fly/

Please note, that’s a new website for MadisonWoods.

For those who are new, MadisonWoods shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers will compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Get on your horse and ride!

Here is my contribution:

Shearing Placid

Austin struck a match and drew breath. The hand-rolled cannabis tip glowed. “Nothin’ betta.” He chuffed then offered to Samuel who was soaking in the pleasantly burbling brook.

How’d ya find this place? Ain’t on the map.”

Nope. Came across the fence while jacking deer; had a sign said ‘Do Not Enter,’ so I killed it and climbed over.”

Taylor’s land, you think?”

Nah. Probably government. Fence goes miles.”

A shimmering dragonfly scissored along, settled upon a tumbled rock, gossamer wings shearing placid stillness, mesmerizing Samuel.

Look there.”

Another.

Then, several more.

Too many.

jKb



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Comments
  1. boomiebol says:

    Well written…I am wondering what Samuel and Austin will do to them all. Here’s mine http://boomiebol.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/damsel-fly-friday-fictioneers-622/

  2. Very nice. I very much liked the ‘shearing placid’ both the title and the imagery of the gossamer wings. Sounds like you were in my neck of the woods, LOL.

    • JKBradley says:

      Thank you, Madison. These two fellas just sort of spoke to me, a couple of southern country boys jerking around where they’re not supposed to be.

  3. dani says:

    what is the government doing to those poor moths & dragonflies, now what? are there more they are messing with? will the boys leave tehm be or be boys? like the “jacked” deer
    dmk

  4. TheOthers1 says:

    It ended in a way that almost led me to believe that the damselflies were becoming overwhelming in a bad way. I liked the dialect you used. These two sound like interesting characters. Nicely done.

    My linky: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/puddle-jump/

  5. I liked the “scissored” and the “shearing”. Another rather icy ending, but at least one of them sounds as if he deserves whatever’s coming.

  6. Jan Brown says:

    These nature loving, deer hunting slackers are very well crafted. This is a great slice-of-life that leaves us wondering what’s next. A wonderful story, thoroughly enjoyed!

  7. nice subtle menace at the end. well done done.

  8. Kwadwo says:

    Now, I’m wondering if there were actual dragonflies or the boys were just hallucinating from the high.

    Mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/21/a-silent-moment/

  9. rochellewisoff says:

    Interesting weaving of imagery and mischief.
    mine’s here http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/homework.html (I’m on the list if the link doesn’t work.)

  10. Lora Mitchell says:

    If damselflies and dragonflies bite like mosquitoes, they better high-tail their stoned butts out of there. I’m on the list, but just in case: http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

  11. Linda says:

    Oh my … now there was a surprise I didn’t expect, that the damsel fly might actually be dangerous. Now I have a completely different picture in my head 🙂

    Here’s mine too: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-gramps-and-me/

  12. The use of powerful imagery made the story so real. Those two rogues are actually in for something sinister to be unleashed by the dragonflies. A good take on the prompt. Mine is here and linked as well: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/fridayfictioneers-the-omen/

  13. unspywriter says:

    Great–revenge of the damselflies! 😉 I loved the dialogue here; very true to life, and nice, subtle foreshadowing with “probably government.” I loved how you took the pretty picture and scared the bejesus out of us!

    Here’s mine: http://unspywriter.wordpress.com/friday-fictioneers/not-tonight-dear/

  14. Brandon Scott says:

    Must… know… what… happens… next! Great story.

    • JKBradley says:

      Hey Brandon, I’m glad you enjoyed this. There is a storyline here I’ve been sitting on while working on some other projects; the story should see the light of day over the next several months if all goes as planned.

  15. flyoverhere says:

    good ole boys doin’ what good ole boys do……good portrayal! Mine is on the link and here http://wp.me/p1LMPs-li

  16. janmorrill says:

    Uh oh. Sounds ominous. I liked the descriptive words you used, like “scissored” and “shearing placid stillness.”

    –Jan
    http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/flashfriday-fictioneers-the-damsel-fly-dance/

  17. My favourites are “scissored along” and “shearing placid”. Good take! And good on the damselflies…

    http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/damselfly

  18. erinleary says:

    Beautiful and ominous. I loved the ‘ gossamer wings shearing placid stillness’. You also paired gossamer and mesmerized, as did another writer this week. Lovely!

    Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/flash-friday-fiction-6/#entry

  19. And you have the opening shot of your horror film, right there. Shearing = shudders.

    Kathy
    http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/sobibor/

  20. VSichalwe says:

    Wow this is awesome I really enjoy it and some how it made me think of the Australian outback and an old Australian movie, very nice so many things that can and would probably go wrong. Kudos.

    http://vsichalwe.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-3/

  21. Parul says:

    I liked the way you descried the scene
    And “Shearing Placid” is a very good title!
    Sums up your post beautifully!

    Parul
    http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/06/23/always-close/

  22. Nifti says:

    Yep. You just had to end it with that feeling that of impending doom, didn’t you! well very nice.

  23. rich says:

    when he “killed it,” was that the sign that he killed? love the ending. lots packed into 100 words. they’re trashy but mainly harmless. wander where they don’t belong. now they’re paying the price. one of those things when we can sometimes say, “i wish i wrote that.”

  24. dmmacilroy says:

    “Shearing placid… Vivid and menacing, your story was reminiscent of a McDonald’s I once visited near Harrisburg, PA. I believe I ordered a box of SpiculeNuggets. Got plague moth dusted instead.

    You have an evil streak in you, JK, and I like where it leads us.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/kaleidoscope/

    • JKBradley says:

      Thank you, Doug. The way I view things we fictioneers are enjoying a nice journey together, strolling down one of these twisted and darkened paths, and as we step we share such tales to pass the time. For me it is the very thing I’ve lack for some time; it’s living.

  25. I like the panic rising in the last, simple line. Great story, so well woven.

  26. Ruh-row. The worst self-punishing crime around – stupidity. Well, with a bit of help from classics like arrogance and laziness and greed. I like the way you gradually build their characterization, then close the trap.

    Thanks for your comment on mine – http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/friday-fictioneers-advice/.

  27. ron pruitt says:

    Sounds like Austin and Samuel may have wandered into Area 51 or some other hellhole. Nicely written with just the right hint of menace. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.

  28. Brian Benoit says:

    Nice impact with the short sentences at the end. I had a building sense of trouble right from the line “Ain’t on the map.” They reveal so much in their commentary, with things like “fence goes miles.” We know better than to be lulled by the pleasant surroundings, after lines like that, and we know their pleasant time is up when the dragonflies start to gather. Nice piece with some dark shading.

  29. rgayer55 says:

    Sounds like these boys are about to experience a new form of border patrol. I’ve never been big on “No Trespassing” signs, so I guess I’m somewhat like your characters. It makes me wonder what people have behind the fence they don’t won’t me to see. Perhaps that’s where Austin and Samuel got their weed.

    You leave a lot to the imagination, JK. I like that 🙂

    • JKBradley says:

      Thanks for stopping by, very happy you enjoyed the read, and, I find it very interesting how many folks identify with the curiosity instilled when faced with a sign telling you to stay out. Why? What’s over there? I wanna see!

  30. tollykit says:

    Well written. I could just see the pair of them. and it sounded like such a pleasant afternoon for them. It’s amazing how much menace can be introduced by those few words at the end. I gather we won’t be meeting those two characters again.

  31. bittercharm says:

    I loved your story for the questions it left lingering in the air. The dialogue grab the attention and make you want to know more. Great work. Thank you for sharing.

    Regards,
    BC
    http://reeflections.wordpress.com/

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