FLASH FICTION FRIDAY

Posted: May 4, 2012 in dark, fiction, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

 

Thank you again to MadisonWoods for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/old-wallpaper/

Here’s my contribution…I hope you enjoy.

A Gift

Boards long since pried from window casings, no longer barred entrance. Through the portal, shafts of moonlight pierced darkness, an opaline pool glimmered amidst abandoned filth. Therein, upon that stage, a pristine chair, wooden, hand-tooled, polished to high luster, iridescent in majesty.

Another gift from mother. A baleful reminder of lessons administered.

Beside awaited a sleeping candle and sooted spoon. Glazed eyes surveilled, the impotent King approached, claimed again his stony throne. Flame melted rock, barrel loaded, leather-belt secured with teeth.

Plunger depressed.

A blissful sigh.

An utterance as veiled death flooded his veins.

“Happy Mother’s Day.”

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Comments
  1. Brilliant story David…
    everytime i see a flash fiction it fills me with wonderment ..to think of a topic and weave a story around it in 100 words…
    loved this story line…

  2. Cry face. But it was beautifully written. A part of me was reminded of my own sadness of not being around my mother for the holiday. She lives in Oklahoma and I’m in Ohio incapable of traveling due to work and money reasons. I miss her. But that’s what your story made me think about.

    Here’s mine: http://t.co/nH0gFGpK

  3. rich says:

    wasn’t until the sooted spoon that i knew what was happening. then it all focused. sad, but focused.

    http://brainsnorts.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/54-friday-fictioneers-by-madison-woods/

  4. Great story, with neat juxtapostion of words, evoking strong imagery. Here is mine: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/fridayfictioneers-lost-without-you/

  5. TheOthers1 says:

    Whoa! Sad is right. Your wording is brilliant. Great job.

    My attempt: https://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/rebuild/

  6. rainang says:

    wow! strong imagery..i liked it…although

  7. oldentimes says:

    What a strong picture of desperation and sadness!
    My first thoughtwith the prompt was to write about was an explosion from a meth lab…then the one I posted just fell into place. http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/old-wallpaper-friday-fictioneers/
    Thank you for the nice comment on my post and the haiku.

  8. Joanna Gawn says:

    A very dark piece, JK – highly descriptive. I use ‘opaline’ a few times in our books – but there’s a very specific reason for that! 😉

    Thanks for the comment you left for mine (http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/old-wallpaper)

  9. Jess Schira says:

    I can’t get over how great your use of imagery was in this story. I’m jealous. Excellent job!

  10. Kris Kennedy says:

    Sad, Desperation – Imagery and words profound…

    Here is mine: http://integrativethought.wordpress.com

  11. KT McClure says:

    Yup, as has been said, great language. It made the ugly beautiful, which I suppose is what the drugs do, for a time.

    And now for something completely different:
    http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/the-beholder/

  12. unspywriter says:

    A very powerful piece. Nice juxtaposition of dark and light. Very nice.

    Thanks for the comments on mine.

  13. Very well written although dark and sad. Drugs bring so much pain and loss–you captured it well.

    Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

  14. Sandra says:

    Well crafted – captured all the hopelessness of the scenario. Well done.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/dysfunctional-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/

  15. teschoenborn says:

    Past trauma leads to present heart ache, a path to drug abuse by so many. Nicely done.

    Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/03/friday-fictioneers-the-gig/

    • JKBradley says:

      Vices and ways to cope, regardless of how detrimental to ourselves, physically, emotionally, spiritually, we all do it. I think it’s part of being human.

      Thank you.

  16. Amanda Gray says:

    This hits close to home for me. My ex had a serious drug problem and I was young. I thought I could save him but in the end he almost took me with him. I had to leave. I became yet another excuse for his behavior.
    here’s mine http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/friday-flash-fiction/

    • JKBradley says:

      I think this story strikes a chord for so many people because we all know the damage addiction causes, directly or indirectly. Thank you for sharing.

  17. Linda says:

    Drugs and parenting, there always seems to be something that links the too – I love the ‘happy mother’s day’ at the end very neat.

    Here’s mine for other visitors: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/05/04/friday-fictioneers-a-wall-to-keep-a-secret/

  18. pinionpost says:

    Wow — first of all, very dark and very timely. Loved it. And beyond just having great descriptions, the sounds of the words themselves, the way they run together (the little internal echo of “opaline” and “glimmer”) — just really nice work.

    And of course, thanks for your comment on my story. I appreciated it!

    Brian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/05/04/renovations/)

  19. Dark…dark…dark. I know others have said it, but still… Nice journey, and in only 100 words.

    ~Susan (http://www.susanwenzel.com/)

  20. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear JK,

    There is a moment when an idea captured makes it to the page well executed and transports readers. Your story was one such snippet in time. Since I’ve started Madison’s Friday gig I’ve read enough submissions to recognize a really great one when it makes an appearance.

    Language usage, setting, story and descriptive brilliance set your work apart and made it shine in the moonlight. I don’t often wax effusive, but there’s a time and a place. Your words are my Captain Jack.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/the-nerve/

  21. doncarroll says:

    Nice sentiments here. See your from Pittsburgh. That’s cool as I’m up by Erie north of you.

  22. Such beautiful language for such a dark and painful scene. Brilliant set up. Intricate wordplay going on there, very well done!

  23. sphrbn says:

    Terribly sad but well written, if I had a higher EQ I would of bawled my eyes out, I feel sorry for the mother, what a horrible mother’s day she’ll have.

    Here’s mine: http://sphrbn.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/friday-fictioneers-sharp-ends-prequel/

  24. sacha1nch1 says:

    i was right…..i enjoyed yours very much……an excellent example of using a wide vocabulary without coming across cumbersome or pretentious

  25. A very dark and disturbing place for a character to reside. Very evocative and gritty piece indeed. Well done, sir!

  26. Tina says:

    Each time I visit, and I think it’s just not possible for you to gift us with a better expression of words, you never fail to show me my error in thinking!

    So dark and beautifully written! I, too, liked the “Happy Mother’s Day” at the end. Have a beautiful weekend. 🙂

  27. Russell says:

    A bleak, sad picture, masterfully crafted. The choppy sentences tell the tale emphatically. Outstanding job.

  28. janpoulton says:

    The descriptive writing in this piece created a very intense and sad atmosphere. Brilliant! I loved it. 🙂

  29. Brandon Scott says:

    You really nailed it with this one. Your descriptions really paint a powerful picture here.

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