FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~What You Wish For~

Posted: July 19, 2012 in dark, fiction, Heart Warming, Outdoors, writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thank you again to MadisonWoods for all her work and organization. You can visit her site and read through the other Flash Fiction Friday postings at:

http://madison-woods.com/index-of-stories/grapevines/

For those who are new, MadisonWoods shares a photo prompt to which several #FridayFictioneers will compose a 100-word flash of fiction. Welcome to the grande illusion!

Here’s my contribution:

What You Wish For

Nestled among grapevines upon this rise far from prying eyes he unrolls her blanket, pours her wine, arranges cheeses and spreads, fans out crackers, meticulous, each detail. He queries if she appreciates the privacy of his secret place, if she is happy and in love as he. Sipping, inhaling, savoring, seduced by sliding sun.

She lays, quiet.

Curious. “Isn’t this exactly what you sought with him?” He indulges in another tender morsel.

Fragrances of freshly turned earth. Nearby, a cool, shallow hollow.

She shivers. Silently welling, a tear spills.

He kisses her taped mouth. 

Receding sun welcomes coming romance.

jKb



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Comments
  1. Adam Ickes says:

    Beautiful twist you’ve got there. In the beginning I started to think you’d gone soft.

  2. rochellewisoff says:

    This one’s a chiller. So much from just “her taped mouth”. Bravo!
    mine’s here: http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07/bittersweet.html

  3. mysocalledDutchlife says:

    Something tells me this is not going to be such a sweet romance! Very creepy. Very well done.

    http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/through-the-grapevine-ff-200712/

  4. N Filbert says:

    thumpy. the thump is effective

  5. Jan Brown says:

    Wonderfully creepy. Good job!

  6. EmmaMc says:

    Ahh knew there would be a fatal twist in the end! Poor girl, though at least he layed on a decent last supper.

    http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/fridayfictioneers-last-of-the-summer-vines/

  7. Nicely creepy with a great twist. (Nice blog theme–hmm, do you think I might have the same one?) :-)

  8. Fay Moore says:

    So twisted–I love it!

  9. raina says:

    ohh chilling…nice twist!

  10. Ew, Ew and EW! Great story I just don’t want to meet this guy. Nice job.

  11. Linda says:

    I have to admit you do ‘thriller’ really well and this could be the beginning of a fabulous longer story that explains the back story too. :-)
    http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/07/20/friday-fictioneers-the-grapevine/

  12. Sandra says:

    A great emphatic twist on this! Nicely done.

  13. Kaitlin says:

    Thaaaaaat was horrible awful and awesome. If I might make a suggestion, I would switch the last two lines so that that “taped mouth” comes as a slap to the face at the very end. :) I was a little too shell shocked to read the last line my first time around.

  14. unspywriter says:

    This has an almost poetic quality to it, and I’m particularly fond of stories that you think are one thing, then abruptly become another. I agree the impact, which is already powerful, would be enhanced by switching the last two lines. Amazed at all the emotions you captured here. Great job.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/asylum/

  15. Oh, wow. Goosebumps, seriously! I had a bit of foreboding with this one, but surely didn’t expect the twist. Very spooky and well done! Here’s mine: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/07/19/friday-fictioneers-july-20-2012/

  16. [...] FLASH FICTION FRIDAY ~What You Wish For~ (thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com) [...]

  17. “He kisses her taped mouth”…oh yeah! You wicked, wicked man…nice way to lead us on. Very nice indeed.

    ~Susan (www.susanwenzel.com)

    • PS – and damn if you don’t look like a young Gary Busey in your profile picture!

      • JKBradley says:

        Thank you, Susan. I’m glad you enjoyed the wickedness. And I’ve been told that before about Gary Busey. My friends say it makes me look like a spooky stalker, which I think actually enhances my role as a thrill writer, so I’ve elected to keep it. Thanks again!

  18. erinleary says:

    Well, that didn’t turn out how I expected! Nice twist, terrifying as it is….

    Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/flash-friday-fiction-12/

  19. Tara says:

    oh it was so lovely.. and then the taped mouth, very nice twist

  20. Gilly Gee says:

    Very good, menacing and too scary for me!

  21. Kris Kennedy says:

    Very chilling. Certainly a twist. I appreciate this line: Sipping, inhaling, savoring, seduced by sliding sun. Your use of words, I think, is phenomenal.

    I invite you to mine at: http://haiku365.wordpress.com

  22. You give Stephen King a run for his money! Great story! Bone chillingly eerie at the line referencing “her taped mouth.”

    http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/pre-fall-by-ilyan-kei-lavanway-for-madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-100-word-flash-fiction/

  23. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear JK,

    Arrived at your story and don’t want to leave. Sharp as a well honed blade, your story slices deep with few words and conveys even less hope. Wicked good.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/sweet-wine-and-the-fullness-of-time/

  24. Nifti says:

    WOah! Jeesh. I started going “how romantic…” and then bam…!
    Great story Mister!
    Thanks for popping over the other day to read :) I did a post on the prompt this week. Would love your comment :) http://niftitalks.com/2012/07/20/she-heard-it-through-the-grapevine/

  25. flyoverhere says:

    A sad tale set in beauty and full of darkness.

  26. SAM says:

    Wonderfully dark, and I will admit I didn’t expect it to be going where it was going until the taped mouth.

    Thanks for stopping by my place this weekend!! http://frommywriteside.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/the-hunted/

  27. rich says:

    oh dear. oh dear dear. he’s got issues.

  28. Russell says:

    Dear JK,
    There’s something to be said for a woman who know how to keep her tongue. At least he can get a word in edge-wise. I suspected foul play was afoot when I read the line, “freshly turned earth.” I can see this fitting well into a longer story. Nicely done.

  29. So twisted- I love it

  30. boomiebol says:

    Creepy good…well done as always. Thanks so much for stopping by mine.

  31. I never have to search for dark and creepy – I just wait til your posts pop up in my inbox. Always a delight – even if terrifying :)

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